


and there’s a hand, my trusty friend!

by orphan_account



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 18:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9136909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Wouldn’t you be in a lot of pain if you’d been shot?"“Well, yes. But I wasn’t sure. Sometimes it’s good to check. In case all of my nerve endings have revolted against me and turned off the pain so I will, inevitably, bleed to death on your couch,” Dirk tells him matter-of-factly.-Todd and Dirk have a quiet New Year's Eve in.





	

“I’VE BEEN SHOT!”

Todd doesn’t even look up from the laptop in front of him “No, you haven’t. That’s a firework, Dirk.”

The taller man relaxes his shoulders. “Oh. Why do they make them sound like guns, then? Rather a silly idea, if you ask me.”

“I don’t think the inventors of fireworks purposely made them sound like guns just to spite you,” Todd laughs, and closes the lid of his computer to set it aside. “And anyway, wouldn’t you be in a lot of pain if you’d been shot? I mean, you already have, I’m pretty sure you’d know.” They don’t bring up The Incident With The Electrified Arrows often, but Todd thinks it might be a bit relevant now.

“Well, yes. But I wasn’t sure. Sometimes it’s good to check. In case all of my nerve endings have revolted against me and turned off the pain so I will, inevitably, bleed to death on your couch,” Dirk tells him matter-of-factly, before flopping horizontally to rest his head in the space previously occupied by Todd’s laptop. Todd can’t resist the smile that tugs at his lips, and allows his fingers to twine in the other man’s hair. He’s not really sure if this is strictly something friends do - it might be more in the remit of assistant – but he thinks Dirk will tell him if a line is crossed. In any case, physical contact is no longer a point of contention for them any more. Since his return, there have been several occasions of Dirk zoning out, face frozen in an expression of distress, and Todd has found the best way to bring him back to full awareness is to gently touch his hand. Both result in the detective blinking a few times and plastering a brightly false grin across his face, before excusing himself to the bathroom. He pretends not to be, but Todd is fully aware Dirk spends it breathing heavily with his head tucked between his thighs.

Todd continues to gently stroke Dirk’s hair, hesitating for a moment before talking. Though he’d found it amusing earlier, there was something about the way Dirk tensed up that bothered him. “You okay? With the noise…?”

“Of course. I just- I know they stop, at some point but- You’ll tell me, if it is a real gunshot and I don’t feel it, won’t you? I trust you will, Todd, but just in case-“ There’s a hint of uncharacteristic uncertainty in Dirk’s voice, and Todd would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel uncomfortable.

He nods anyway. “I will. But trust me, you’ll know.”

Dirk smiles up at him, eyes brightening. “Alright then, you have my life in your hands. And lap.”

Todd rolls his eyes, but grins nonetheless. “Yeah, thanks for that. It’s not like your head is in an awkward proximity to my crotch or anything.” He regrets saying it instantaneously, as Dirk shoots upright, cheeks dusted pink.

“Oh, blimey, yes! So sorry about that, Todd, I rather got carried away. I’m very sorry.” He glances down at his own lap. Todd sighs.

“Dirk, I- That’s not- It’s okay…” Outside, another firework bangs, and Todd can hear the shouts to signal the beginning of a countdown.

_“TEN! NINE! EIGHT!”_

Dirk is tense across from him, eyes still elsewhere as though he’s fixated on another time, a time when the noise wasn’t just a harmless light show-

_“SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!”_

Todd takes his hand, desperately willing the other man to stay here, with him in this moment, and not to drift away-

_“FOUR! THREE! TWO!”_

More yells, more fireworks. Todd’s heart races, unsure if he’s doing the right thing. Dirk seems to have returned to himself, but isn’t making any move to run and hide in the bathroom.

_“ONE!”_

Todd decides it’s now or never, and leans close, still giving Dirk the opportunity to pull away if he really needs to.

He doesn’t.

_“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”_

Fireworks are going off left, right, and center, but Dirk is no longer tensed with fear. He’s pliant in Todd’s hold, kissing the other man with the same relentless enthusiasm he applies to pretty much everything else in his life. Todd isn’t complaining, and is instead kissing back with everything he has.

They pull away to the sound of a passer-by vomiting into a bin, ruining the cliché of a kiss under fireworks almost entirely. But neither man can bring himself to care. Todd is flushed red, Dirk’s nose touching the tip of his own.

“Well,” Dirk breathes out, a tiny smile gracing his lips. “That was nice.”

Todd smiles a little back. “It was. Are you-“

“-Okay? I’m more than, Todd. But I, ah- Well, I may need another distraction, since there’s still rather a lot of fireworks going off out there.” To his credit, Dirk is trying his level best to repress the grin he wants so badly to show.

Todd gives a breathless chuckle, and lets himself ghost a hand across the back of Dirk’s head affectionately. “Oh. Well. I can do that.”  

-

The fireworks stop at around half-past midnight.

Dirk is rather too occupied with a certain assis-boy-friend to notice.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the English translation of Burns' "Auld Lang Syne", because it's NYE and I'm uninventive.
> 
> I think it's unlikely that Dirk will be mentally a-okay after the whole arrow-through-the-shoulder-and-lots-of-death thing, but then I'm biased as a psych student. Either way, he's a little jumpy at noise. 
> 
> Comments make me a happy bean, and as ever, I can be found on [tumblr](http://hippocampers.tumblr.com/) where I am always up for a chat. I hope you all have a fabulous 2017, and I send you all my love.


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